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You can’t feel good if you’re not willing to feel bad. This is among the truest and least fun things there is. See, your emotions are like a sound wave, oscillating above and below a “neutral” [...]

How Did You Help Make This Happen?

Most people don’t like to hear that they had a part in creating the thing they’re complaining about but it’s true. Sometimes our contribution is that we have chosen to stay and not walk away from [...]

How Complaining is like Body Odor

Let’s talk about B.O. Body Odor. We’ve all encountered that person who emanates an unpleasant smell. We think they really should be bathing more or washing their clothes or changing their diet. [...]

Why the Best Ideas Happen in the Shower

We get the best ideas in the shower. We all know this – but have you ever thought about why? Seems these days nearly everyone is overwhelmed. We are surrounded by constant streams of [...]

New Year’s Resolution Life Hack

If you want a hack for New Year’s, put “no complaining” on your list. Why? Because it’s difficult to avoid hearing (and saying) complaints. When a complaint appears, you [...]

Dealing with Complaints Over the Holidays

A few tips on how to deal with others’ (and your own) complaints over the holidays: [originally recorded as a Facebook Live event]

How to read the news without spiraling into a funk

BREAKING NEWS (NOT): It’s hard to watch the news without getting frustrated, afraid, or angry. This only gets worse once you decide to Go NoCo and you become extra-sensitive to things that [...]

The Kind of Complaint That Will Hurt You

Many personal development and leadership teachers include some variation on “stop complaining” as key to success and happiness. Recent discoveries have revealed that complaining will [...]

High standards getting you down?

High standards are tricky. They can be great motivators or you can use them to beat up yourself and others. It all depends on whether you think of them as goals or measures. And if they’re [...]

Stressed? 10 Ways to Take a 1-minute ME Break

Before you start reading: Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Do that one more time. Now a third time, paying attention to the air that’s moving through your body. Congratulations! You [...]

Your Choice Upon Arrival

Why do so many of us complain the moment we arrive somewhere? Whether it’s about the traffic or parking or weather or whatever, so often upon arrival we say hello and immediately launch into [...]

A Love Letter to My Inner Critic

My Dearest Inner Critic, I really love you. I know that might not sound so healthy considering all the mean ways you talk to me, but hear me out. At first I didn’t love you. I hated you. And I [...]


None of us enjoys the feeling of having disappointed someone. Sometimes we face disappointment from others, and sometimes we’ve disappointed ourselves. Either way, we don’t like the feeling. [...]

The Mood of a Resolution

Here’s a question you may not have asked yourself: While you’re deciding on a goal or making a resolution, what mood are you in? Resolutions and goals usually involve choices about [...]

The Courage to Stop Complaining

The decision to stop complaining is not an easy one. It’s taking a stand against negative forms of conversation and thinking, yes, and it’s so much more than that. The decision to [...]

Why you should choose to make certain memories more vivid

For better or worse, we all have memories of the holiday season. And our expectations of what will happen and of how people will act this year can’t help but be influenced by memories of [...]

12 Simple Actions for Lasting Happiness

We’ve all heard that to improve our happiness we should do things like “cultivate gratitude,” “live your purpose,” and “be in the now.” These statements [...]

Change Your Life Outcomes by Posing for 2 Minutes a Day

You know that you can tell how someone is feeling by looking at their body language. In truth, their body language is often more accurate than what they’re saying out loud. But did you know [...]

Monday Meditation

It’s Monday. Welcome back! This is a friendly NoCo reminder not to fall into the trap of reflexively complaining about having to be back at work this Monday. If you catch yourself about to [...]

How to Handle Family Complaints

Thanksgiving is almost here. We all hope this is a holiday filled with genuine warmth, where the focus is on gratitude and we feel loved and supported by our families. Sadly, I know the reality [...]

The Power of Deciding

One of the great fallacies of being a writer is the idea that you should wait for inspiration to start writing. The truth is that pretty much every published writer says the key is to write [...]

When to Compare Yourself to Someone Else

If you’ve taken a NoCo class, you’ve heard me say that comparisons are at the root of most (if not all) complaints. In fact, at its core, a complaint is a comparison between some [...]

Is that a complaint? — Your intentions will tell you.

One of the most common NoCo questions I get is, “Is that a complaint?” It can be difficult to tell sometimes. And I’ve worked with several of you who are trying to eliminate all [...]

Is that true?

When I get into my blacker moods, I spin into absolutist thinking. I start using terms like “always” and “never” about whatever situation I’m in or whoever I’m [...]

I decided not to worry about it

This morning I took a yoga class from the amazing and insightful Kimber Simpkins. Every class she brings in a theme, some thoughts to hold in your head while you’re doing the poses. These [...]

What’s the point?

Quitting complaining is hard. When you fail at something you said you wanted to accomplish, what do you do? Do you beat yourself up over it? Does your inner critic start insulting you? Do you [...]

Complaining Erodes Productivity

Looks like the buzz about how complaining impacts productivity is getting farther into mainstream business! Check out these articles in Inc. Magazine and the Wall St. Journal to see what I [...]

Optimism & Realism

Sometimes people say “I can’t get too optimistic. I have to stay realistic.” Is it true that optimists are always unrealistic?

Heading Off the Winter Blues

Winter blues? In August?!? You may think that it’s early (or even absurd) to think about winter at the beginning of August. But if you’re someone who suffers from the blues during the [...]

Sharing Thanks

Is there someone in your life who’s made an impact on you that you haven’t yet thanked? How about taking a moment today to express your thanks? The impact could be large or small. Is [...]

The Old Complaint

Often when someone is complaining they’re talking about how they felt some other time, not now. They are describing a past event that made them feel frustrated or angry or hurt. Sometimes people [...]

The Vague Complaint

  The vague complaint is either about something so big and complex that there’s no single or direct solution, or about something that’s simply impossible to change. We hear vague complaints [...]

Contemplating the Pet Peeve

A “pet peeve” is defined as a minor annoyance, something that irritates you but often doesn’t seem to bother anyone else. It also refers to an annoyance that occurs frequently or repeatedly. For [...]

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